I preached yesterday morning at a small church about 5 minutes from my house, Ygnacio Valley Presbyterian Church. There were 40 people max there. Sweet older congregation and so encouraging!
It was the first time in 5 years that I had preached which definitely gave me cause for reflection. Five years ago Emme was a baby and I was at the front end of an emotional and spiritual transition that took so much grief, change, leaving and pain. Here I am... 70 units of graduate theological studies, a Presbyterian for goodness sake (hardly knew what one was 5 years ago!) and so close to getting my Masters of Divinity, I can almost reach out and touch the diploma.
The past 5 years have been dark, secret, hidden. For someone who has so many gifts in public ministry and leadership, it has been extremely difficult and full of questions like "am I fooling myself?" "who will ever trust me?" "am i just in this for my own ego?" God's work, as always, has not been blockbuster big but small and quiet reassurances just when I had almost lost all faith.
Preaching yesterday was both familiar and new. Yes, I've done it before but not when I was able to read the text in Greek! And thankfully... yes, truly thankful for this... I felt much less vested in my own advancement and performance. More excited to just be a part of this congregation, worshipping with them and encouraging them to live more fully in the kingdom of God.
So the sermon wasn't brilliant but it was a start. I especially loved finding the kingdom/political/national images in the OT that correlated with the parables in Matthew. Several people have asked about it, so here is my outline I preached from... thanks for reading... I just wish I could attach Audra reading the Scripture to it. She did such a great job at that!
Sermon - July 27, 2008, Mt. 13:31-33, 44-52
What is the kingdom of God or heaven like?
Believe it or not, this question was posed to Barack Obama in this week’s issue of Newsweek. He was asked what he thinks is the kingdom of God? His answer…
Why of all questions was this asked of Obama? Why not his view on who Jesus is? Or what he thinks about the “end times” ideas? Why the kingdom of God?
The editors of Newsweek understand that the kingdom of God is not just confined to religion. It is a political idea.
The idea of kingdom is dangerous because it usually means there is one agenda… the advantage of the king or the king’s interests. Kingdom usually means conquering all that is not in the kingdom and co-opting it for one’s own interests.
Understanding more about the book of Matthew highlights this potentially political message of Jesus
Most scholars assume that Matthew was writing to a Jewish audience in the period of time after the Temple had fallen. Since the temple has fallen, Judaism has lost its primary reference point and there were many voices vying to define what Judaism should be. Matthew is one of those voices. He is writing from a small minority population within Judaism making his case for Jesus and Jesus’ understanding of Judaism.
So we shouldn’t be surprised to find some echoes of the Hebrew Scriptures here and to assume that Matthew’s intended audience would recognize the allusions. And Jesus gives us a clue that we should expect that at the end of this section… “Therefore every scribe who has been trained for the kingdom of heaven is like the master of a household who brings out of his treasure what is new and what is old.” (v.52)
Let’s start with the OLD.
The images Jesus uses here echo images in Hebrew Scriptures. They represent home, promise, longing and judgment.
- Ezekiel and the tree – Ez. 17
- Sarah making bread from 3 measures of flour – Genesis 18
- Jeremiah and the field – Jer 32
But the application here is not to a kingdom on earth, not the hope of the physical kingdom of Israel… it is the kingdom of HEAVEN.
Matthew is the only one that uses this phrase… “the kingdom of heaven” instead of kingdom of God.
At first glance, this phrase can make the kingdom seem farther off, something to hope for in the far-off future reign of God.
But these parables are anything but other-worldly. Let’s start to look at them.
WHAT IS NEW
What is the kingdom of heaven like?
The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed that someone took and sowed in his field; it is the smallest of all the seeds, but when it has grown it is the greatest of shrubs and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and make nests in its branches.”
The kingdom of heaven is like yeast that a woman took and mixed in with three measures of flour until all of it was leavened.”
“The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which someone found and hid; then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.
“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls; on finding one pearl of great value, he went and sold all that he had and bought it.
There are volumes to say about each of these but there are also some commonalities.
First, all of these things are found in places that you usually don’t find kingdom.
And they are found people that usually have nothing to do with kingdoms… a farmer, a housewife, a field laborer, a merchant
This is an affront to our assumed idea of kingdom and Jesus seems to be purposely drawing this contrast. The kingdom of heaven is not found in palaces and on battlefields. It is found in the common places doing common tasks, in the smallest of things.
FAITH – you have to know something to see the potential in these small places – that the mustard seed will grow and provide shade for the birds, that the leaven will help the bread to raise and be edible for your family/friends, that the treasure is worth more than the price of the field, that the pearl is worth all you have.
None of the results of these actions were their own. The farmer cannot MAKE the mustard seed grow, nor can the woman make the bread rise… faith in the process
What is our faith in? Sometimes I think that it is hard to see beyond our small worlds… what gives us any basis of faith?
It is the vision of God in Jesus come to earth, opening his arms and declaring that God loves the world and deeply desires to be reconciled. This is the ultimate basis of our faith… a God who LOVES and is constantly seeking reconciliation. When we see this, we begin to recognize the mustard seeds and pearls among us… the small out of the way that we are asked to invest.
Richard Rohr – “The opposite of faith is not doubt, it is fear.”
Second, even though each of these things is found, there is something to be DONE.
The mustard seed must be planted
The yeast must be mixed.
The treasure had to be hid so that the field could be bought at a lower price.
All other pearls must be sold to buy the one pearl of great value.
LOVE – action must be taken – this is our part. This is what makes the kingdom come alive. As Paul says… the greatest of these is love for without love.
Matthew says later it is the cup of cold water to a child, the visit to the prisoner…
Third, each of these parables contains an element of TIME. The kingdom doesn’t fully develop immediately
The mustard seed must grow
The bread must rise
The field had to be bought before the treasure could be claimed.
Likewise, the merchant had to sell everything first
HOPE –a vision of the kingdom of God… Israel called it shalom and we see it revealed in Jesus. As we will look at next week, part of this vision includes all being fed and cared for… Theologians talk about the “now and not yet-ness” of the kingdom. That it is both here and also ahead of us. That instead of moving from past to present to future, the future of God is actually pulling us forward.
Rom. 8:22 We know that the whole creation has been groaning in labor pains until now; 23 and not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly while we wait for adoption, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what is seen? 25 But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.
In this waiting… it is messy and sometimes hard to see., v. 47-50 = the messiness of the kingdom
WHAT IS the kingdom of heaven?
Jesus teaches it is not attached to a political ideology or nation… but has political implications – it affects systems and the lives of others.
When we begin to act in the seeing of faith, the action of love and the expectant waiting of hope, the kingdom of God begins to grow in our lives individually and spills out… the birds find places to nest, bread is fed to the hungry and treasure is opened and shared.
The kingdom begins to grow in us and out from us when we follow in the way of Jesus– in proclaiming release to the captives, welcoming the outcast and comforting the widow.
The kingdom of heaven is found in the smallest of things, planted with courageous faith in acts of love, living in hopeful expectation that the kingdom will grow and all will live fully reconciled to each other, to creation and to God.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Saturday, July 12, 2008
what (i think) they want to hear vs. who i am
Last night my oldest daughter made several revealing statements about me.
She is at that age where she gets that it's fun to know someone's likes and dislikes and to be "in the know" on certain juicy details. And, as her mom, she knows a lot of mine.
But I don't like everyone knowing that I am really excited about the likely possibility Barack Obama will be president. Where I come from, that just about amounts to heresy. I have "switched sides" on so many things that I know what will/could be said about me if my true preferences were known to certain people.
Add to that... in my growing up, sameness and solidarity were virtues. I hardly even met a democrat until I was in college. And it is only the last few years that I have regularly known women that are in roles in the church that were forbidden by the theology of my youth. Having the same beliefs were good... it meant Dobson did his job and you had been turned into the right kind of person.
But is that what I want to teach my daughter?? Do I want to teach her that the things you believe in and that make you unique should be hidden when you're not in like company?
I believe there's such a thing as discretion... keeping your mouth shut when it's not worth a battle. But hiding and shame are different and I err way too far over on that side of things for fear that I'll be rejected and not liked and no longer listened to.
I have come a long way on this. At some point, my calling to ministry forced me to "come out" as a woman called to ordained ministry and, on the other side, with my friends who are not religious, as a person who strongly believes and pursues a Christian faith journey. My choices reveal me, certainly.
But last night, I watched myself quieting my daughter with eyes of shame for the things she revealed about me that I didn't want anyone to know. Some of it was appropriate, but mostly, I was teaching her shame.
For her sake and for mine, I will continue to grow into living confidently, boldly, courageously... trusting in the grace of God for all of us and remembering it's not about being perfect or being liked but being fully human.
"The glory of God is man (and woman) fully alive" -Irenaeus
She is at that age where she gets that it's fun to know someone's likes and dislikes and to be "in the know" on certain juicy details. And, as her mom, she knows a lot of mine.
But I don't like everyone knowing that I am really excited about the likely possibility Barack Obama will be president. Where I come from, that just about amounts to heresy. I have "switched sides" on so many things that I know what will/could be said about me if my true preferences were known to certain people.
Add to that... in my growing up, sameness and solidarity were virtues. I hardly even met a democrat until I was in college. And it is only the last few years that I have regularly known women that are in roles in the church that were forbidden by the theology of my youth. Having the same beliefs were good... it meant Dobson did his job and you had been turned into the right kind of person.
But is that what I want to teach my daughter?? Do I want to teach her that the things you believe in and that make you unique should be hidden when you're not in like company?
I believe there's such a thing as discretion... keeping your mouth shut when it's not worth a battle. But hiding and shame are different and I err way too far over on that side of things for fear that I'll be rejected and not liked and no longer listened to.
I have come a long way on this. At some point, my calling to ministry forced me to "come out" as a woman called to ordained ministry and, on the other side, with my friends who are not religious, as a person who strongly believes and pursues a Christian faith journey. My choices reveal me, certainly.
But last night, I watched myself quieting my daughter with eyes of shame for the things she revealed about me that I didn't want anyone to know. Some of it was appropriate, but mostly, I was teaching her shame.
For her sake and for mine, I will continue to grow into living confidently, boldly, courageously... trusting in the grace of God for all of us and remembering it's not about being perfect or being liked but being fully human.
"The glory of God is man (and woman) fully alive" -Irenaeus
Friday, July 11, 2008
Shalom and inclusive language
This morning Audra discovered the Hebrew word for peace/well-being/wholeness/fullness of life which is Shalom. She kept talking about it and goofing around and then asked her sister, "Emme, do you have shalom?"
Emme screwed her face up and said, "no"
And then I jokingly asked her, "do you feel peaceful?" (she nodded)
"do you feel whole?" (nodded again)
"are you at peace with your fellow man?"
She stopped and looked at me and said, "I don't think I have peace with my fellow MAN"
Ah yes... peace must extend beyond MEN if it is to be truly shalom.
Thanks for the reminder Emme. Our speech comes so quickly and easily sometimes. We have to make the effort to trip over our words in order to say what we truly want to say. And when it comes to God, we must especially trip over our words to remember there is a mystery and incomprehensible reality that will not be contained in our quick speech and gendered pronouns.
Emme screwed her face up and said, "no"
And then I jokingly asked her, "do you feel peaceful?" (she nodded)
"do you feel whole?" (nodded again)
"are you at peace with your fellow man?"
She stopped and looked at me and said, "I don't think I have peace with my fellow MAN"
Ah yes... peace must extend beyond MEN if it is to be truly shalom.
Thanks for the reminder Emme. Our speech comes so quickly and easily sometimes. We have to make the effort to trip over our words in order to say what we truly want to say. And when it comes to God, we must especially trip over our words to remember there is a mystery and incomprehensible reality that will not be contained in our quick speech and gendered pronouns.
what would motivate me to be on a committee for the presbyterian church (usa)
SO I have never considered myself much of an institution person and as you can see from my reflections on GA, I am a bit ambivalent about it still but there are things about the institution of the PC(USA) that I love and as I become more familiar with them, I have become very excited about.
One of those things is the Book of Confessions. It is a collection of documents from the past half millenium that have formed the church's self-understanding. In other words, it says what the church is, believes and intends to do. In the 20th century, two documents were added. One was the Barmen Declaration which was written by the Confessing Church in Hitler's Germany to say why they would not sanction the Nazi regime. The other is the Confession of 1967 which is one of the reasons I am Presbyterian. It is a beautiful statement of the centrality of reconciliation to the Christian faith.
While I was at GA, they passed a resolution to continue study of the Belhar Confession. You can read about its history here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Belhar_Confession. I am hoping to be on the committee that continues this study and this morning I wrote my request to our oh so distinguished moderator, Bruce Reyes- Chow. I thought I'd share it here:
Request to be considered for the committee on the Belhar Confession
Jennifer Warner
Reconciliation is the heart of the gospel. The Confession of 1967 articulates that it is also at the heart of the PC(USA). In line with this firmly held conviction, the Belhar Confession stands as a statement made from on-the-ground struggle for reconciliation. It takes the belief in reconciliation from the halls and pages of academia and church structure and makes reconciliation concrete, immediate and urgent.
Considering Belhar for inclusion in the Book of Confessions is significant on several levels. First, if accepted, it would be the first document written and set in the Global South, providing a significant post-colonial voice and directing the church’s action in a world that is increasingly globalized and in a global church whose locus is shifting southward. Second, it makes a significant ecumenical statement by stating solidarity and unity with the larger Reformed global community where it works for justice and unity. Third, Belhar tells a story. The story contained in Belhar and the stories of racism and discrimination that it will draw out have the power to change individual and communal beliefs and engage the church in concrete and intentional actions of reconciliation. These actions are as important in the U.S. as they are in South Africa in our international, national and local actions and self-understanding.
Because of this, I would be honored to serve on the committee considering the inclusion of The Belhar Confession in the Book of Confessions. In the committee, I would bring gifts of theological study, writing and clear communication to the committee. I have studied and worked in diverse cross-cultural and theological settings, and continue to keep a foot in both academic and church settings. I have been involved with the emergent church movement for over six years, which has a strong commitment to global and postcolonial voices. I have studied the PC(USA) and Reformed Church of America study guides to Belhar and plan to lead a group of churches through the study of the Belhar this coming year. As part of a polity course, I sat in the discussion on committee at the 218th General Assembly where Belhar was discussed and became familiar with some of the issues involved in adopting Belhar. Lastly, I bring a deep passion for reconciliation and believe that it must continue to penetrate the church in body, spirit, soul and mind.
Pray for the decisions made regarding this committee and all of the committees. While it can all feel very political and bureaucratic, there is some significant and important work to be done that has huge potential for the action of the church in the world.
One of those things is the Book of Confessions. It is a collection of documents from the past half millenium that have formed the church's self-understanding. In other words, it says what the church is, believes and intends to do. In the 20th century, two documents were added. One was the Barmen Declaration which was written by the Confessing Church in Hitler's Germany to say why they would not sanction the Nazi regime. The other is the Confession of 1967 which is one of the reasons I am Presbyterian. It is a beautiful statement of the centrality of reconciliation to the Christian faith.
While I was at GA, they passed a resolution to continue study of the Belhar Confession. You can read about its history here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Belhar_Confession. I am hoping to be on the committee that continues this study and this morning I wrote my request to our oh so distinguished moderator, Bruce Reyes- Chow. I thought I'd share it here:
Request to be considered for the committee on the Belhar Confession
Jennifer Warner
Reconciliation is the heart of the gospel. The Confession of 1967 articulates that it is also at the heart of the PC(USA). In line with this firmly held conviction, the Belhar Confession stands as a statement made from on-the-ground struggle for reconciliation. It takes the belief in reconciliation from the halls and pages of academia and church structure and makes reconciliation concrete, immediate and urgent.
Considering Belhar for inclusion in the Book of Confessions is significant on several levels. First, if accepted, it would be the first document written and set in the Global South, providing a significant post-colonial voice and directing the church’s action in a world that is increasingly globalized and in a global church whose locus is shifting southward. Second, it makes a significant ecumenical statement by stating solidarity and unity with the larger Reformed global community where it works for justice and unity. Third, Belhar tells a story. The story contained in Belhar and the stories of racism and discrimination that it will draw out have the power to change individual and communal beliefs and engage the church in concrete and intentional actions of reconciliation. These actions are as important in the U.S. as they are in South Africa in our international, national and local actions and self-understanding.
Because of this, I would be honored to serve on the committee considering the inclusion of The Belhar Confession in the Book of Confessions. In the committee, I would bring gifts of theological study, writing and clear communication to the committee. I have studied and worked in diverse cross-cultural and theological settings, and continue to keep a foot in both academic and church settings. I have been involved with the emergent church movement for over six years, which has a strong commitment to global and postcolonial voices. I have studied the PC(USA) and Reformed Church of America study guides to Belhar and plan to lead a group of churches through the study of the Belhar this coming year. As part of a polity course, I sat in the discussion on committee at the 218th General Assembly where Belhar was discussed and became familiar with some of the issues involved in adopting Belhar. Lastly, I bring a deep passion for reconciliation and believe that it must continue to penetrate the church in body, spirit, soul and mind.
Pray for the decisions made regarding this committee and all of the committees. While it can all feel very political and bureaucratic, there is some significant and important work to be done that has huge potential for the action of the church in the world.
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Breakfast at Grandma G's
I have had many breakfasts at my Grandpa and Grandma Goehring's house but this morning was the first one in a long time and because I don't get to do it very often, it was poignant. Being there overnight reminded me of all the memories of being a kid... talking underneath the pillow with Julie so our parents couldn't hear, Grandma being conscientious about the temperature of our room and what window to open to get the breeze, watching the news before bedtime, the night light on in the bathroom. Actually, hardly any of these things happened last night. But I remembered them and could feel the cool Lodi evening breeze and see the Sacramento 11 o'clock news even though all the windows were shut tight and everyone went straight to bed after fireworks.
My kids were the first ones up this morning and I was shushing them just like my parents shushed me. As usual, Grandpa wasn't around... but instead of the smell of coffee lingering from his early morning pot before he went out to check on the school that he watched over, he was in bed–the last to get up and not the one to make the coffee.
Breakfast was almost the same... eggs cooked in bacon grease, white Wonder bread toast with butter and strawberry freezer jam (the best taste in the world), and a selection of Svenhard's pastries. Grandma with her International Coffee. Afterwards, the storebought cookies came out. This is food I would scorn on any other day in my Bay Area snobbish foodie world but today it was heaven. I watched my girls down their runny eggs soaked in bacon grease and I couldn't have been happier if they were eating spring greens with a light balsamic vinaigrette and goat cheese on toast.
I love change, travel, big cities, new experiences and culture. I shop at farmers markets, buy organic produce almost exclusively and prefer grass-fed beef over corn-fed. I hardly ever eat off paper plates, recycle every slip of paper and feel guilty about not composting (or at least not yet). I drive a tiny car with two kids in the suburbs. I am enthusiastically voting for Obama. I have done most of my theological studies at one of the most progressive seminaries in the country.
But this morning I was reminded that I am not all that.
I am struggling to describe the conflict in me b/t what I carry as an American raised in the American immigrant's dream in the late 20th century and what I hold as an ecologically conscious progressive type person in the early 21st century. I believe that the future requires we let go of a lot of that dream or at least its baggage but some of that baggage is precious to me. It is not the problem of just the clueless people in middle America. It is mine and my family's. I absolutely adore my Great Aunt who thinks Obama is the anti-Christ. How do I reconcile that?
For today, I am reminded that there are things that we cannot let go of in our future journey. The open heart and warm hospitality of our past must come with us. The connection to the earth should be deepened by our environmental politics not cheapened. We still need to know our neighbors and invite them over for dinner. Extended families need to sit out on the porch and watch the youngest members grow. My kids probably won't be eating Wonder bread and strawberry freezer jam in 30 years but I hope I haven't lost the heart of the ones who put it on the table.
My kids were the first ones up this morning and I was shushing them just like my parents shushed me. As usual, Grandpa wasn't around... but instead of the smell of coffee lingering from his early morning pot before he went out to check on the school that he watched over, he was in bed–the last to get up and not the one to make the coffee.
Breakfast was almost the same... eggs cooked in bacon grease, white Wonder bread toast with butter and strawberry freezer jam (the best taste in the world), and a selection of Svenhard's pastries. Grandma with her International Coffee. Afterwards, the storebought cookies came out. This is food I would scorn on any other day in my Bay Area snobbish foodie world but today it was heaven. I watched my girls down their runny eggs soaked in bacon grease and I couldn't have been happier if they were eating spring greens with a light balsamic vinaigrette and goat cheese on toast.
I love change, travel, big cities, new experiences and culture. I shop at farmers markets, buy organic produce almost exclusively and prefer grass-fed beef over corn-fed. I hardly ever eat off paper plates, recycle every slip of paper and feel guilty about not composting (or at least not yet). I drive a tiny car with two kids in the suburbs. I am enthusiastically voting for Obama. I have done most of my theological studies at one of the most progressive seminaries in the country.
But this morning I was reminded that I am not all that.
I am struggling to describe the conflict in me b/t what I carry as an American raised in the American immigrant's dream in the late 20th century and what I hold as an ecologically conscious progressive type person in the early 21st century. I believe that the future requires we let go of a lot of that dream or at least its baggage but some of that baggage is precious to me. It is not the problem of just the clueless people in middle America. It is mine and my family's. I absolutely adore my Great Aunt who thinks Obama is the anti-Christ. How do I reconcile that?
For today, I am reminded that there are things that we cannot let go of in our future journey. The open heart and warm hospitality of our past must come with us. The connection to the earth should be deepened by our environmental politics not cheapened. We still need to know our neighbors and invite them over for dinner. Extended families need to sit out on the porch and watch the youngest members grow. My kids probably won't be eating Wonder bread and strawberry freezer jam in 30 years but I hope I haven't lost the heart of the ones who put it on the table.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
the 1st of july
So it is now illegal to talk on your cellphone with it up to your ear in California. So far... no transgressions and I'm thankful for my Jawbone.
I had dinner with Rachel tonight. She leave tomorrow morning for her internship in Corvallis, OR. It just seems so hard to believe that all of us are going off to actually work and somewhat be pastors, chaplains, etc. Already, I have 5 Sundays to preach before the end of the year. Someday that won't be a big deal but right now I face them with excitement and a bit of terror as well.
What qualifies someone to be ready to do this kind of stuff? We've passed all our classes but who says we are now ready to get up and talk and lead???
I have to admit I'm ambivalent about it all. I think I'm caught b/t a few things. On one hand, I think really anyone can do this. Educated or not, we all have the capacity to give to another and whether it's on a large scale or small, anyone and everyone should be able to do this. ON the other hand, I've seen a lot of immaturity in my fellow seminarians and am well acquainted with it in myself. Do we really trust the church to people such as ourselves? But who else would do it? Someone that is circumspect, boring and super-human???? That is a problem in and of itself.
The good Reformed answer.... we trust the grace of God. Easily said and hard to do.
God be with all of us as we head out. May we see the fruit of all our study and may the new work produce good fruit in us... leading us deeper into the image of Christ.
I had dinner with Rachel tonight. She leave tomorrow morning for her internship in Corvallis, OR. It just seems so hard to believe that all of us are going off to actually work and somewhat be pastors, chaplains, etc. Already, I have 5 Sundays to preach before the end of the year. Someday that won't be a big deal but right now I face them with excitement and a bit of terror as well.
What qualifies someone to be ready to do this kind of stuff? We've passed all our classes but who says we are now ready to get up and talk and lead???
I have to admit I'm ambivalent about it all. I think I'm caught b/t a few things. On one hand, I think really anyone can do this. Educated or not, we all have the capacity to give to another and whether it's on a large scale or small, anyone and everyone should be able to do this. ON the other hand, I've seen a lot of immaturity in my fellow seminarians and am well acquainted with it in myself. Do we really trust the church to people such as ourselves? But who else would do it? Someone that is circumspect, boring and super-human???? That is a problem in and of itself.
The good Reformed answer.... we trust the grace of God. Easily said and hard to do.
God be with all of us as we head out. May we see the fruit of all our study and may the new work produce good fruit in us... leading us deeper into the image of Christ.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
